Monday, August 18, 2008

The Most Painful and Sad 2 weeks for Me and my family...

Am so sorry for the lack of post for the last whole month.. Have been really busy.. In this one whole month, my life have been like a roller coaster. Some of the occasions makes me very happy and some of them makes me cry a lot. I was also very busy working and some of you might already know that my GRANDMA condition is very bad.. In the last 2 weeks, I cried so much. My grandma was admitted to the hospital the first time on Friday, and the doctor was letting us know that her condition is very critical and she could passed away anytime and ask us to be there and also get the other family members to come back if possible.. So that time, when I heard the news, everyone was crying and I cried so much.. As you guys might already know i just lose my beloved grandpa few months ago only and now my grandma.. When she was admitted on the first day, I just got back from work, so you guessed how tired I was.. but instead of feeling tired, i was only thinking about my grandma condition. We were there till 12.30am to 1 am, and the nurse told us that the doctor says that the medication was working on my grandma and now her situation is stable. Therefore, she told us to go back and if there was anything, she will called us. So all of us went back home. But as already expected, we all couldn't sleep.. was scared the phone rings and so on.. After few days in ICU, her condition improved and she was transferred to HDU for a day then to the ward for a day.. We went to visit her everyday after work.. The air-con was freezing cold and i felt sick after that.. On the day of the Olympics 08-08-08 she was discharged from the hospital. So everyone was happy that she recovered. Since I got sick, I didn't want to passed the sickness to her, I didnt go up and see her.. which is what i regret so much.. coz i really didn't expect that she will be re-admitted to the hospital in less than 3 days. I was planning to see her on monday but it was too late..

On monday morning, abt 9.20am she was again admitted to the hospital.. It was another total shock to me.. I was already awake getting ready to work when my mum told me about it.. Mum ask me to go to work since the doctor is checking on her and even if am there, I can't do anything, plus it was unexpected and i was the only one in the counter.. So I went to work, but I wasn't in the mood.. When my best friend came to work, I started hugging her and told her what happened.. I already started crying again.. and it took me so long to stop crying and for me to register what happen.. Thank god at that hour, nobody needed to used the changing room, so I was in there till I was ok.. Then I continue working and waiting for my parents to keep me updated.. I called my full time to stand by just in case I had to go off anytime soon to the hospital.. Anyways, after that, i was much better and I work till 1pm then went for lunch with my friend. When I was about to punch in to work again, my mum called and told me that she is fetching me up now and going straight to the hospital. Yes, and my grandma condition again was critical, this time brain hemerage.. and they cannot operate due to my grandma condition.. So again, doc told us condition is critical.. So again, I couldn't stop myself from crying.. I just couldn't control myself.. of coz i wasn't the only one crying lah.. but I know that I rather hope that my grandma goes of peacefully better than for her to go through all the suffering.. Everytime when I see her, tears flow.. However until now, her condition is very bad and she is suffering so much.. I really cant bare seeing her like that.. She was in the ICU till today and now she is transferred to the 2 bedded ward.. However, her condition is still the same.. Her eyes is open and close, but she couldn't response to us at all.. besides that, there are so many tubes and it is really scary and painful to even see how much pain she is going through.. The first 2 nites I couldn't even sleep coz when I closed my eyes, I see her face and the pain she is going thru.. My cousins from Singapore even fly back on the same day she was admitted again..

On that day, I told my colleague that I was quitting coz I don't know wat will happened to my grandma and I didn't want to last minute tell them that I am not coming.. My last day was supposed to be on wed the same week.. which means only 2 days to go..On the first two days, we were in the hospital almost the whole day..

And can u even imagined what else happened. On Sunday morning at 1.40am, my ex-principal Mr. Tan Har Yong passed away due to heart attack. In the afternoon on Sunday, one of my ex-teacher from Sri Inai, called me up when I was working. I answered the call and to convey the bad news to me.. When she told me, I was telling wye ling at the same time, and we were both in total shock.. Coincidentally, when I was on the phone, the customer heard that I was talking about Mr. Tan and i was surprise that they actually know him.. So they told me and ling more about the situation and when and where is the wake service and also the funeral.. The funeral was on Thursday, 10am. On that day, we planned to go to the wake service to pay our last respect to him on Monday at 8.30pm.. So imagined in the morning when I know about my grandma situation, I was already planning to either go another day or I couldnt go at all.. But I remembered that in ICU, from 8.30pm till 9.45 pm. we cannot go in to see her, so I decided I'll just go and pay my last respect and then come back to the hospital again and that is what i did.. At 7.30pm, i went back home to shower and changed coz i was still in my working clothes.. then went to the church with Phei Shan, Wye Ling, Audrey and Me.. After that, we went to eat coz i didnt had dinner yet.. Then Phei Shan drop me back to the hospital and we all left the hospital at 12am.. Imagined how exhausted I was, but I still couldnt sleep

On tuesday night, I decided to call my colleague and ask her whether she still needs someone to help her. I was planning to go back to work on Wednesday since it was supposed to me my last day and I also wanted to distract myself from thinking so much about my grandma.. So yes, I went back to work on Wednesday and at 6pm, I officially bid all of them goodbye.. Hehe.. LOL

Working was ACTUALLY FUN but Tiring.. It was really fun working together with Wye Ling, Candy (VR) and Siew Lay and Me in (Exercutive).. we were next to each other only.. LOL...

Sorry for such a long wordy post.

P/S- There will definitely be typo mistakes, spelling mistakes or others. Sorry.. I was typing this based on my feelings...

Thank you guys who have been with me during this time..

7 comments:

TsuChong said...

hi there just dropping by,

You must have loved you grandma alot. It's touching, coz i was never close to my grandparents.

Anyway, hope things will be better soon and may you have the strength to go through this obstacle.

Good luck!

shinobikit said...

hey, stay strong, dont cry infront of your grandma, this will burden your grandma's suffers even more...

last and not the least... stay strong.

Christine said...

Tsuchong- Thank you for dropping me and writing me a nice msg.. Really appreciate it.. Yes, am very closed to all my grandparents.. So it's really painful when this happens. Anyways, I will stay strong.. Dont worry

Shinobikit- Thanks Shinobikit.. Really appreciate the msg. I agree with you but sometimes it just can't helped it.. But usually i cry outside not in front of her.. Dont worry, I will stay strong..

Vince G said...

I have to agree with Shinobikit.
Stay strong.

Vince.

Christine said...

Vin Tsen- Yeap, I also agree.. Thanks for your msg.. I will stay strong..

Anonymous said...

Christine, just dropping & touched by your love for your grandma.... Be strong for everyone and your family ya.... God Bless.....

Christine said...

cazzycazz- thanks alot cazzycazz..