Why am I feeling down....

Do not read: Is a emotional post below about myself... .. The time is here again for me to emo... lol


Hmpphhh... Seriously I don't even know why am i feeling emotionally and physically down.. My brain is driving me crazy and my feeling is driving me insane... I really don't know why am feeling down.. am seriously having mix feelings... sometimes I feel that am useless to even able to handle my job... I don't even know why? is it because am comparing me with the others... I know I should not be feeling that way since is just a job... but still seeing myself feeling useless and pressured especially during the weekends, really make me feel that am not even up to the challenged.. I really feel that why others can handle it but not me.. Is only 2 months in my first job and I know I have lots of things to learn... but then even in this 2 months, I don't even think I can handle what am already supposed to do... and that is not even a lot of things am suppose to handle compare to the others.. Maybe is my attitude that taking me long to change.. I tends to pressured and stressed myself unnecessary when I feel others can do it why I can't.. Haih.. I need to change this behavior of mind or I will keep on being emotionally down.. Let me stop thinking of certain things and just follow the flow... Life is like that, there are always ups and also downs.. so just do whatever you can and you will be happier.. many told me that is just work.. but am not even sure whether is the work or is something else that also make me emotionally down.. hmpphhh.... I guess is everything and even little things that is making me feel like that... Sometimes is really hard to tell someone how you are feeling...but am sure if I want, my friends will be there to listen to me... Hopefully, I will be fine soon... hehehe... I need my beautiful sleep without having bad dreams and also thinking too much... hahaha...

I miss Penang especially my parents... Dad come down when your free... I miss the food... Haha.. Yes, I know that I have already stayed in KL for such a long time, but still I miss my hometown... Luckily, my younger brother decided to come down to KL and study so I don't feel that lonely sometimes... hahaha.... :)

Ok.. Enough of the crap am talking here.. Sometimes is a place for me to type whatever i feel plus not like I have many visitors coming in to see my blog.. Haha.. =)

Take care guys...

Quiz taken from http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx


Hahaha... If you know me well enough, then tell me whether the quiz is true.. I do agree on some lah.. haha... but will let others tell me too... =)


Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

What to you think?

I have a good question for you guys to comment today?? As you guys know that am facing problems and am emotionally down.. However, most do not know what happened? and what problem that can make me so down?? And guess what?? What a good timing? When assignments and work are pilling up and this problem have to arise? Am actually thinking whether am I that type of person or am I not? So people out there who knows me since ages ago or some might only know me recently, am willing to listen to what you guys comment about me? How I treat you all and how is my personality like? Am I a person who is easy to be bullied and being abused? The problem that am facing is related to some of the questions I ask you guys.. Sorry, I decided I better not tell you all till things are more settle and when am more emotionally stable.. This problem is should suppose to be a Private and Confidential.. So I don't want others to get involved so I will keep this secret unless someone I so hate is challenging me to do it.. I also don't want my 'personal friends' to get involved in this too.. because they have helped me many times and I really owe them a lot.. Some of them who are close to me had know about this incident, and most of gave me advices.. I really want to thanked all those who had help me and was with me throughout all the pain and suffering I am going through.. You guys know who u are, who spend lots of time to talk and advice me on what to do.. To those who I didn't tell you all also were still there for me.. without asking me what happened when I told you guys is P&C. I told only a few people about the incident because they are either in my group and also a few were a very close friend of mine from school days..

I really appreciate all of you who were with me during this time.. I thanked you all from the bottom of my heart and I really mean that..

All comments are welcome... and i really want to hear what you guys really think of me.. Don't worry.. our friendship will still continue... hahaha.. I just wanna know the truth.. and am trying my very best not to be so emotional and trying to forget this problem.... Wish me luck.. hahaha...

What is happening to me???

I really don't know what happened to me.. I feel so depressed and sick.. Is only been 4th week and I have been feeling depressed and moody.. I don't know what is going on with me.. Am I sick till I feel my body is tired or have I been going through all the suffering of the chinese medical treatment and also getting sick at the same time.. I really don't know.. Or I just feel like things are going against me.. Or am I just feeling lonely staying alone here.. Sometimes when things don't go well, I really hope someone is there for me.. I hope my parents are in KL with me.. I hope I can stay calm and be independent.. But, I don't know why am I feeling so depressed and lonely.. I know I know.. I shouldn't be feeling this way, but I really can't help it.. My body is weak, I don't have appetite to eat, my throat is so painful, I have bad headache and I CANT SLEEP!!! Besides all this, I need to act ok in uni, I need to attend classes even though am sick, and every week, there are so many discussion and work to do.. I don't know why, but I hardly get depression, and if i do, I usually able to go through it.. because I have close friends around me.. But I feel this time is worst then what happen last time.. I don't know why and what happened to me.. I just can't wait for the time I graduate.. am mentally and psychically tired... my body is not the same like last time.. The doctor telling me I need plenty of rest, but yet, either I cant sleep or I have work to do.. Every week, tutorial presentation with groups are already making me busy.. Although usually I wont complaint about it and I usually able to cope, but I don't know why am complaining now.. On conclusion, I know am just depressed..

I HAVE TO BRING MYSELF UP!!!! But sometimes, I just want to have a peace of mind, without ppl finding fault or finding ways to hurt you... I guess am feeling this way cos things haven't been going well for me since I got sick.. But no matter how I feel now, I hope I will be ok soon.. It might takes few days or a week plus.. But I can't let it go longer than that.. I mentally must be strong, is only 1 year more.. and time passes very fast, so I can do it.. and I will do it, no matter what it takes.. but my health will come first before anything elsee..

To those who is reading this, pls keep this confidential. I don't want anyone of my aunties, uncles, parents to know how am feeling now..

I wasn't suppose to post about it, but I just want to try whether if I type how I feel here, I might feel better... Anyways, this blog is for me to type all my emotions, my ups and downs in life and so on..

That's it for now.. Thank you to those who have been with me since I feel depressed and lonely..

Love you all...